Nine Facebook Live Tips to Look More Natural

Everyone is naturally nervous about being on video. Going live brings that anxiety to an entirely new level. Whatever happens live, happens – and there is a record until you delete it. But, if you take the time to practice and prepare, while nothing can ever go perfectly, you can appear very natural and in your element on Facebook Live.

1. Ensure That You Have Good Lighting – If you can’t afford to buy lighting, you can just do the event in front of a window where the light shines in. But, getting the right lighting doesn’t have to be expensive. You can buy lighting that works from Home Depot. If you wear glasses, put the lighting up high so that it doesn’t reflect in your glasses.

2. Check Your Sound – One of the problems that people experience most with video is sound. You may want to invest in a professional mic instead of using earbuds. Some people do fine with earbuds, though. Check how your sound is and ask people who do videos that have great sound what they use.

3. Be Prepared – Sometimes, one reason people have issues going live is that they don’t know their topic and they’re not sure what they’ll say. Give some thought to what you’ll talk about. Use notes if you need to for words you are uncertain about how to pronounce or names and quotes that you want to remember. Nothing is wrong with looking at notes.

4. Be Sure to Flip the View – Sometimes the view of the video is in mirror view. It depends on your device on how you change it, but you’ll want to change it so that you’re not in mirror view.

5. Notice Your Background – The background of your video can distract or add to your appearance. How it looks depends on your own personality and your niche. You don’t want to be fake, but you do want to be comfortable. Try out different solutions so you find out what works best for you.

6. Talk Like You Normally Talk – Something weird happens sometimes to people when they know they’re being recorded. They start talking differently and using words they’re not accustomed to using. Plus, they always try to fill the air with sound. This is not natural. It’s okay to pause and think about what you’re saying. Silence can be a good thing.

7. Be Yourself – Even as you practice improving, you want to be who you are. If you don’t wear business suits to work, don’t wear them in your videos. If you do like to dress up, do that. If you like wearing makeup, do it. If you don’t, you don’t have to. Good lighting can help if you have any skin issues, or you can just wear light makeup to help if you need it.

8. Know Your Audience – Before you plan your first live event, you need to know who you are, who the audience is, what they need, what their pain points are, and how you can best help them and serve them.

9. Know Your Niche – You don’t want to go outside of your niche when you perform your live events. If your niche is about spreadsheets, you don’t want to do a cooking demo. You want to be interesting to your audience about your niche and not go outside of it.

Going live may be nerve-wracking but after you do it more, you can keep improving as you watch your videos play back. You can watch for lighting, listen to the sound, and notice where you do trip up – usually it’s because you are trying to be perfect. All of this will help you improve. Let go of the emotion, look at the data, and change one small thing to make it better with each Facebook Live event!

What do you think?  Did I miss any tips?  Let me know how you look natural during your Facebook Live events below.

Signs That It’s Time to Let Go of a Relationship

fighting

 

No man (or woman) is an island, as the famous poem states. We all need other people in our lives, in various types of relationships. In fact, we are often defined by them in our families:

Mother
Daughter
Sister
Aunt
Wife

Or:

Father
Son
Brother
Uncle
Husband

 

Outside our family circle, we decide who people are to us, and who we are to others:

Friend
Best friend
Boy/girl friend
Lover
Domestic partner
Business partner
Colleague
Boss
Person who reports to us
Support staff in the office or building
Freelance worker

And so on.

 

We can’t choose our family, it is true, but nor should we punish ourselves trying to make a negative relationship work by constantly compromising who we are or what we believe in. We may not be able to let go of the relationship with a parent or sibling, for example, but we can let go of the idea of being obligated to please them – especially if they are a difficult type of person who is never pleased.

We can choose friends, lovers and spouses. However, that choice will often come into question when different things shake the foundation of the relationship, such as trust, and the assumption that the person cares for you and wants the best for you, and vice versa. If that is not the case, then you might find yourself thinking more and more about letting the relationship go.

Signs That It’s Time to Let Go

No one likes to waste time and effort, but it also does not make sense to hang on to things in our lives that drag us down and drain our energy. It’s also true that the more you hang on to baggage, the heavier it will become, and you won’t have your hands free to embrace other things. So here are a few signs it might be time to let go.

1. You constantly feel hurt or resentful

The person has done something so bad, it is almost impossible to get beyond it and try to forgive them.

2. You are the one doing all the heavy lifting

You are the one putting most of the energy into the relationship – calling, emailing, organizing get-togethers, and so on.

3. You are at different places in your life

The other person might be ready to settle down and have a family, for example, but your career is just taking off, or you want to travel the world and do other exciting things.

4. You can’t agree on the essentials in your lives

Marriage, children, where and how you want to live, are all big questions. Sometimes loving a person isn’t enough to get over the bumps in the road that become exposed when your two views of an ideal life don’t mesh with one another.

5. When you have to make too many sacrifices

Some people might make sacrifices in order to maintain the relationship, but end up disappointed and bitter. For example, they promised if you had children together, they would be there doing their fair share, but they are still spending long hours in the office while you’ve given up your career for a house full of dirty diapers. And of course it is much harder to let go of a relationship once you have had children, due to co-parenting.

6. The other person is not trustworthy

They may not lie outright, but they don’t turn up on time or follow through with their promises, or they deceive you in various ways. People are often evasive about money, or how they spend their free time. Don’t jump to conclusions, but do insist on honesty.

7. Dealing with the other person is draining

Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. If you know any “energy vampires” who are constantly draining you and leaving you no time to for yourself and the things you really enjoy, it might be time to let go.

It’s never easy to let go of a relationship. But if you recognize one or more of these signs, it may be the best decision you can make in the long term.

Have you had to  let go of a relationship?  What were the signs for you?  Any words of advice?  Share your thoughts in the comments below…

How to Stay Calm during Your Facebook Live

When you’re nervous about something, it can be hard to stay calm. And when you’re nervous about doing a live event, it can get in the way of the enjoyment of it. Let’s talk about some tactics that can help you stay calm during your Facebook Live.

* No One Is Perfect

It’s okay not to be perfect during your live event. The most important aspects are that they can see you or what you want them to see, and that they can hear you. When you first sign on, give it time for people to show up, and then ask them if they can see you and hear you fine. It’s fine to adjust once you’re live.

* Technology Screws Up

Sometimes your internet isn’t working right, or a guest’s internet isn’t working right, or something goes wrong. That’s okay; you can start over. There is no time limit or reason you can’t just ditch it and start again. One tip that works is if you’re using your computer, hardwire yourself to the net instead of using Wi-Fi.

* Have Notes

If you have certain things you want to talk about, quotes you want to share, and other information, don’t rely on your memory. Instead, write down some notes. It’s also OK to look at your notes. Nothing is wrong with having notes. You do not have to stare the camera in the eye the entire time you’re live.

* Allow for Silence

Don’t try to fill the void with sound at all times. It’s okay for there to be silence at times. Knowing this will help you avoid saying “um” and “er” too much – but even if you do say these things sometimes, it’s okay. Be who you are and let yourself know that it’s okay to be who you are.

* It’s OK to Look Down at Chat

Sometimes you need to read the chat, and it requires you look down. While this is not ideal in terms of the picture-perfect camera pose, Facebook Live isn’t about that. You want the live session to be interactive, which means you need to read what people are saying during the event.

* It’s OK to Take Time to Type in the Chat

Sometimes you may want to provide a link or other information that requires text, so typing in the chat or having someone else do it during the live is fine. You want a lot of interaction, so encourage that. If you know you want to share certain links, put them in a note file, so you can copy and paste them easily.

* Go Live One Hour before Time to Tell Them You’ll Be Here Soon

This might seem strange, but this is a good way to check that the technology is working. Go live quickly just to express your excitement that you’ll be starting in an hour. Then listen to it and watch it to make sure your sound and lighting are working.

* Freshen Up Right before Your Live Session – Brush your teeth if you can, go to the bathroom, and get a cup of tea, water, or coffee to have with you during the event. You want to ensure that you are relaxed, feel good, and carry the mood with you that you’re going to talk to your friends.

If you have any type of rituals you like to do – like meditate, pray, or pet your dog and cat before the event to help calm your nerves, that’s great. However, one thing that can be said about some nerves is that on camera, nerves often come off as high-energy instead of fear. That can be a good thing too!

What do you think?  Do you have any tips or tricks for staying calm during a Facebook Live?  Share them in the comments along with a link to one of your Live events showing you utilizing your tip.

Eight Benefits of Using Facebook Live for Your Business

Facebook Live is a gift to small business owners everywhere. If you really want to get the word out about your services and you’re not using Facebook Live, you’re missing out. Facebook Live is a great way to engage with your community in an original and effective way.

Let’s look at all the awesome benefits of using Facebook Live for your business.

1. It’s Easy to Do

Over time, Facebook Live is getting easier to accomplish as they add in more functionality to the process. In the past, you had to have special software on your computer or your phone, but now you don’t need it. Having said that, for special effects and that type of thing, the add-on third-party software does exist.

2. A Fun Way to Create Unique Content

When you go live, anything can happen. It can be spontaneous, or it can be more formal and planned. It’s up to you. You can answer questions from your viewers live; you can even bring them in to interview them if you have the right technology set up. But rest assured, whatever you create can be repurposed in numerous ways.

3. It Doesn’t Cost Much

It is actually free, although as mentioned, you can spend money on third-party software and also on marketing your broadcast. And of course, you spend your time. But otherwise, going live on Facebook is free. What’s more is you can stream for four hours.

4. It Creates Buzz and Excitement

When you go live, your followers may get a notification that you’re live, especially if they ask for notifications. Be sure to ask them to sign up for notifications, to like you, and to share your broadcast with others.

5. An Effective Way to Connect with Your Audience

You can connect with your audience in a way that’s unique and real, in real time. This is an amazing development in broadcast technology because your customers literally may have you in the palm of their hand at any time.

6. Increases Brand Awareness

Even when people don’t watch when you are live, if they see the notification and see that you did go live (and if there are comments on the live event, they’ll see those too), it will automatically increase awareness that you exist. The more activity there is, the more curious others will become.

7. Drives Traffic

Going live definitely drives traffic to your Facebook page. If you’re going live in a private group, it encourages participation. And, in both cases, it can also drive traffic to your products and services if you include a call to action in the video and in the comments.

8. It’s Saved for Future Viewing

Unless you direct it otherwise, Facebook saves the video so that it can be watched later by those who missed the live event, or by those who want to watch it again. You can also download it and repurpose it on YouTube or another venue.

When you use Facebook Live, it takes a little time to build up an audience. In fact, you may end up getting most of your views after the recording is active. But, you’ll make connections, and maybe even sales, long after you did the work for the video. This is the ultimate doing the work once while experiencing the payoff repeatedly through time!

Have you used Facebook Live?  Is it a waste of time?  Did it work for you?  Share your thoughts on the pros and cons in the comments.

A Reader’s Review of American Fairytale

American Fairytale Cover

 

American Fairytale (Dreamers #2)
Author: Adriana Herrera
Publisher: Harlequin Audio
Release Date: May 2019
Genre(s): Romance, M4M
Audio Length: 7 hours, 36 minutes
Reviewed by:   Will Burley
Heat Level:4 flames out of 5
Rating:5 stars out of 5

 

Blurb:
<!–  –>

Fairy-tale endings don’t just happen; they have to be fought for.

 

New York City social worker Camilo Santiago Briggs grew up surrounded by survivors who taught him to never rely on anything you didn’t earn yourself. He’s always dreamed of his own happily-ever-after, but he lives in the real world. Men who seem too good to be true…usually are. And Milo never ever mixes business with pleasure…until the mysterious man he had an unforgettable hookup with turns out to be the wealthy donor behind his agency’s new, next-level funding.

 

Thomas Hughes built a billion-dollar business from nothing: he knows what he wants and isn’t shy about going after it. When the enthralling stranger who blew his mind at a black-tie gala reappears, Tom’s more than ready to be his Prince Charming. Showering Milo with the very best of everything is how Tom shows his affection.

 

Trouble is, Milo’s not interested in any of it. The only thing Milo wants is Tom.

 

Fairy-tale endings take work as well as love. For Milo, that means learning to let someone take care of him, for a change. And for Tom, it’s figuring out that real love is the one thing you can’t buy.

 

<!–  –>
Oh my Jebus!  You’re going to judge me, and I don’t care, but there is a new fan boy for Adriana Herrera!

Camilo Santiago, (affectionately known as “Milo”), is the tough, strong, vulnerable and sexy as hell protagonist of this story.  Milo has a chip on his shoulder – not because he doesn’t care but because he’s cared and been hurt too much.  Thomas Hughes is a wealthy entrepreneur who’s no-nonsense and somewhat aloof manner has been constructed as a wall to protect his heart and keep his blinders on so he can focus on what’s important to him.  The narrative that the author has penned is truly excellent in my view and opinion.  Normally, I can’t seem to really stomach how most romance novels seem to want to focus on all the “flowery” things in relationships and skip over the real-world struggles in getting to the pairing.  I can say that this tome did not do that.

There was really good chemistry throughout.  From Milo’s friends to the connection with Thomas, things came across as very natural to me.  I was able to see myself in many of the characters.

Ms. Herrera did an excellent job at the pacing, too!  A major complaint I normally have is how many writers leave out the little detail relating to the timing of the story.  While not forcing us to count calendar days, the author was able to get us to focus on time in a natural way.  It helped me think in terms of life outside the novel – which in turn helped me to really connect with what the characters were experiencing.

When I listened to the final phrase uttered by the narrator, I felt satisfied , hopeful in the idea of love and like it would eventually happen for me as well!  I’ve never been touched by a book like this before.

What did you think about American Fairytale?  Have you read it yet?  Do you want me to convince you to read it some more?  Chat me up in the comments…

Can You Create Perfect Harmony?

A lot of people feel out of balance in their lives, and wish they could create perfect harmony in relation to their job, family and so on. While there is really no such thing as “perfect”, many people are able to achieve a greater balance in their lives through a range of self-help practices.

One of these is the practice of mindfulness.

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a type of meditation practice that has been used for thousands of years in order to focus the mind and improve concentration. It has the added benefit of making you more calm and relaxed, and can help you enjoy yourself more. It can best be described as learning how to live in the moment.

Don’t We All Live in the Moment?

A lot of people might think they live in the moment. However, the fact is that most of the time we are just lurching from one item on our to-do list to the next. This can lead to stress and even burnout, which can in turn lead to poor health, difficulties at work, and tense relationships.

The Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation

Most non-Western medical schools of thought, such as Ayurveda from India which has been practiced for 5000 years, believe in holistic healing. They try to treat body, mind and spirit, all at the same time. The goal is to get them all into balance and harmony.

Meditation can help with all three. Mindfulness meditation in particular can help develop inner peace and harmony internally and externally. A little mindfulness practice every day is like a mini-vacation and trip to the spa all in one.

Body

Mindfulness meditation helps lower blood pressure, reduces stress, and even decreases pain. It triggers relaxation and an overall sense of well-being even during sessions which might be emotionally difficult. The deep breathing oxygenates the body and helps improve the immune system. It also helps detoxify the body.

Mind

To Buddhists, who are masters of meditation, the mind is either an unruly wild elephant or a monkey, rampaging through our lives or swinging from thought to thought. The only way to tame the elephant and stop the monkey mind is through meditation.

To meditate means to think. We can all think. It’s just a question of what we are thinking about.

In the case of mindfulness meditation, we are either observing our thoughts, or observing an action we are performing – such as walking through a park. Through the process of observing, we become more familiar with our racing thoughts and learn to tune out the ones that are not helpful, and focusing on the ones that are.

Mindfulness is often called living in the present, because we are no longer dwelling on things that happened in the past or worrying about the future all the time. We are giving ourselves permission to enjoy life as it unfolds, moment by moment.

Mindfulness meditation improves focus, concentration and the ability to get to the center of a problem more easily. With mindfulness practice, you will notice a big difference at work and in your relationships. The difference is termed a “flow state” – a type of harmony in which everything feels effortless and even fun.

Spirit

A healthier body and a less stressed mind leads to a more harmonious spirit. Your own inner sense of well-being is enhanced. This will often result in you feeling more connected with others, and with the outside world. Stopping to smell the roses helps you enjoy your life and feel you are making the most of it, not just sleepwalking through it.

If your life seems to be nothing but endless turmoil, try mindfulness meditation and experience greater harmony than ever before.

Do you have a practice for aligning your life?  I would love to hear your thoughts.  Chat me up in the comments section.

You Got Too Much Stuff

Erykah Badu said it best,

 

Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold onto, is you, is you, is you

One day all them bags gon’ get in your way
One day all them bags gon’ get in your way
I said one day all them bags gon’ get in your way
One day all them bags gon’ get in your way, so pack light,
Pack light, mm, pack light, pack light, oh ooh

Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus
You can’t hurry up, ’cause you got too much stuff
When they see you coming, niggas take off running
From you it’s true, oh yes they do

One day he gon’ say you crowding my space
One day he gon’ say you crowding my space
I said one day he gon’ say you crowding my space
One day he gon’ say you crowding my space so, pack light
Pack light

 

Do you have that one piece of old baggage or energy drain that you’ve been carrying around for what seems like forever?

 

It reminds me when I pack too heavily for a trip where I need to take a flight. I have all these suitcases and I forget that I need to get them in the airport.

 

I’ve got one bag over my shoulder…

 

One duffle is under my armpit…

 

I’m holding one in my hand…

 

…and I’m running late to get to the gate!! YIKES!!!!

 

There are a lot of us that are trying to carry our figurative bags all day, every day and we wonder why we’re not seeming to get anywhere as fast as we want.

 

I’m not immune to this myself. I have some emotional “stuff” that I think I’ve been holding on to for way too long … and my damn shoulders are hurting and slouched…

 

The good thing though is that we don’t have to keep dragging our bags! That’s great, right?

 

Most of us don’t want to carry all the “stuff” around with us but just like the luggage, after holding on to it for so long our hands and shoulders and back become cramped and strained … all because we wouldn’t let go! Guess what? That first instant where we decide to let go, it hurts like hell!! We’ve trained our extremities to become warped and uncomfortable and it takes time to get the blood flowing and for the tingling to stop.

 

Well, it’s the same concept with our emotional baggage… Because we’ve trained our minds to be uncomfortable, the first sign of relief is almost unbearable. We have to think past that initial struggle and think about that moment after, and the next moment, and the next moment and so on and understand that true relief is right around the corner!

 

The very first thing we have to do is decide, “Hey, I wanna put these damn bags down…” Then we take a deep breath and let go…Then we need to work the kinks from our emotional mindset – just as we do physically – with proper movement, training and simply learning to not do the things that got us to that feeling of discomfort.

 

Here are some things that I’ve done when letting go of baggage:

 

  • Take part in counseling or therapy
  • Listen to relaxing, meditative music
  • Stay a bit busier than normal so I won’t “fall into old patterns
  • Reach out to friends to catch up

 

We have the tools within us to begin the healing process for ourselves. If we can decide, “I want a change in my circumstance,” the following steps we need get a bit easier if we stick to our goal…whatever that may be.

 

What do you think? Do my thoughts make sense? What are some things you do to “release your bags?” I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s chat!

 

A Reader’s Review of Broken

> Broken

Broken by Nicola Haken
Broken
byNicola Haken (Goodreads Author)16756228

Will Burley‘s review

Apr 05, 2019  ·  edit
really liked it
I’m so torn on my thoughts about this book…

What I absolutely loved about it is that it deals with mental health issues. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a gay romance. There’s a lot of people that will encounter this throughout their dating/relationship life. I think the author dealt quite well with the fear that goes into finding out that someone you feel is sexually appealing has a “hidden secret“ about their mental health and the symptoms associated with that.

My main qualm about the book is that even though there is this “Obstacle“ to overcome, it still feels somewhat too perfect… overall, I did enjoy this book and will seek out others to read by this author.

A Listeners Review of Nancy

Hey dear readers,

 

I hope you’re having an awesome day! I wanted to touch base to review a podcast that I’ve been listening to for the past couple of years. I started to review a single episode but figured that I would be reviewing multiple shows so thought that I should start with a general, overall review first to introduce you to the podcast itself.

 

Nancy, a production of WNYC Studios, New York’s NPR station, is a podcast that I’ve truly fallen in love with! You can subscribe to it wherever you listen to your other podcasts but of course, the links I use in this post lead you directly to their iTunes listing.

 

General Podcast Synopsis

BFF Kathy Tu and Tobin Low are super queer, super fun and ready to take over your podcast feed. Join them for provocative stories and frank conversations about the LGBTQ experience today. Because everyone’s a little bit gay.

 

Overall Review

The Hosts

Kathy Tu and Tobin Low, as the synopsis says, are real life friends. It shines through in how they interact with one another and their guests.

 

Throughout the series, we’re introduced to their families. I think this adds to the show because it really informs you as to who these people really are and gives you a peek into why they host the show in their particular manner.

 

Their interview skills are excellent! They tend to draw information from those they talk to in a warm, friendly and funny way. Trust me on this one…I was actually interviewed by them in one of the season’s!

 

Maybe I’ll review that episode soon…LOL

 

The Stories

As I write this, I’m getting excited all over again because the stories are relevant yet heartwarming…

 

Okay, okay…I do realize I’m sounding like a Lifetime Movies promo but it’s true!!

 

The episodes range from forming a Gaggle (you have to listen or wait to read my review if you want to know what that means) to living with HIV and everything in between.

 

You’ll learn LGBTQ history, how folks navigate their jobs and just live their queer experiences on the daily.

 

And guess what…you don’t need to be queer to love this show!!! Pretty good deal, right!

 

My Rating

B+

I only gave this rating because I’m still seeing the growth and the new things their trying with the podcast.

 

Tell me what you think. Have you listened to the show before? Will you take a chance to hear what I’ve fallen in love with? Whether you’re a listener or will be one soon or not…share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s chat!

Facts about Mindfulness

Mind… Body… Spirit

 

 

 

Many people have heard of mindfulness, but aren’t sure what it is or how it can help them. Here are a few useful facts to consider when thinking about adding a mindfulness practice to your daily life.

 

What Is Mindfulness?

 

Mindfulness is a type of meditation practice that has been used for thousands of years in order to focus the mind and improve concentration. It has the added benefit of making you more calm and relaxed, and can help you enjoy yourself more.

 

What Is Mindfulness Meditation?

 

To meditate means to think. Mindfulness meditations make you think in a certain way. The way you think depends on whether you are focusing on your internal experience or your external experience. In general, both forms can be described as focusing on trying to live in the present.

 

The Importance of Living in the Present

 

Living in the present is important because a lot of people are so busy that they are really going through the motions during their day as if they were on autopilot. Mindfulness forces you to focus and to pay attention to what you are thinking and doing. It can also help you enjoy life more, so it is not racing past and passing you by.

 

Life passes a lot of people by, because they are not really living in the present. They are dwelling on things that happened in the past or worrying about the future. But the fact is, you can’t change the past. If you carry the baggage from it all the time, your hands will be too full to embrace new possibilities.

 

And if you are worried about the future all the time, you will always be stressed and have a hard time relaxing and enjoying yourself. Living in the present is much more calming and soothing. It’s a chance to “stop and smell the roses” and really appreciate the simple things in your life.

 

Doing an Internal Mindfulness Meditation

 

With an internal meditation, start by calming the mind through focusing on your breath. Count an inhale and exhale as one. Try to count up to 5 without getting distracted by your racing thoughts about things that happened in the past, or your to-do list for the week.

 

When your mind is a bit calmer, start observing your thoughts as if you were watching TV. Just watch as they float across the sky like a cloud. You don’t have to follow the thought and get caught up in it. There’s no need to relive something embarrassing that happened to you when you were 15. You’re an adult now. Let it float past you.

 

Sit comfortably with your thoughts, for a few minutes in the morning and evening, not trying to judge good or bad. You should soon find yourself calmer, more relaxed, and less stressed, and better able to concentrate on the things that are really important to you.

 

Doing an External Mindfulness Meditation

 

An external mindfulness meditation can be done anywhere, even while moving. Using the five senses as a checklist, live in the moment by noting the sights, sounds, smells and so on around you. For example, if you are walking in the park, what do you see? Take time to look at it and enjoy it.

 

If you are eating a meal, slow down and really savor every mouthful. Don’t just shovel the food in your mouth while you are watching TV. You will enjoy things more and not sleepwalk through your life, but rather, be able to make the most of it.

 

Mindfulness meditation can help us all appreciate the present and get the most out of life.

 

What do you think?  Do you have a differing opinion?  Share your thoughts in the comments.  Let’s chat!